Marry Sue-Anne's Magical Mishaps
by Shipping-All-Ships
Summary: Mary Sue-Anne "Sapphire" Riddle had gotten into quite a lot of mishaps in her life, but this may be her deadliest yet.
1. Prologuez

**Disclaimer: I do notz ownz teh HP series or anyting elze. THouhg that wuld b amzome!**

 **Warning: AMZOMENESS PREPS BACK OF! (some future incest (does it really count because she's an OC?), threesomes, and fourth wall breaking. No actual sex scenes though.)**

 **Oh, god, I have disgusted myself. Self-insertion, Mary Sue's, that disclaimer, dear God, I'm just breaking all the good FF writer rules, aren't I? So, who's ready for this sin fest? Also my beta hates me for this.**

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Silence reigned through the dimly lit room as a young women sat on her bed, steadily tapping away at her computer. Her phone lay beside her, the YouTube app open and playing songs that she was just too lazy to go download.

A quick glance at the clock on her laptop had her gasping, quickly shutting the app on her phone and ripping the headphones out, tossing carelessly on the bed. She was going to be late for her job if she didn't hurry.

God, she hated working at Subway.

Quickly slipping her shoes on, thankful that she was already in her uniform, and tying her straightened hair into a bun, she blew out her candle, submerging the room in darkness. As she made her way into the living room to shake awake her ride to work, she decided she really needed to get a car.

As the curtain to her room fell closed, her blackened laptop screen lit up. The cursor moved over to the blue FILE in the top left corner, dragging down to NEW and then to DOCUMENT.

As a new document came up, it moved back to the old one, clicking the gray X in the top right. The save screen came up, asking to save the process on DOCUMENT 1. Seeing the four-thousand word document, containing the graphic details of the Dark Lord's horcrux giving the chosen one and himself a handjob, a noise of disgust rang out. The cursor clicked no.

A malicious yet feminine laugh rang out through the empty house as words beginning to appear on the new document without anyone typing on it.


	2. Chapzar 1

**Two sins in one night? I'm on a roll babeh!**

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Mary Sue-Anne "Sapphire" Riddle sat in her compartment on the train to Hogwarts, nervousness permeating from her very being. She was transferring here from Beauxbatons, since her adoptive parents had had a tragic incident that involved a squirrel, three tons of bacon, and a clumsy waitress.

Even though they weren't her real parents, and often treated her like the dirt beneath her feet for her veela inheritance and ability to speak to snakes, she had loved them with all of her heart. She supposed that was one of her many flaws, being so loving and forgiving.

Deeply involved in her own thoughts of self-loathing and pity, she did not hear the door to her compartment open until a voice startled her out of her reprieve.

"Is this seat taken? All the compartments are full." She looked over at the boy and nearly gasped in shock. He was the most beautiful boy she had ever seen, with messy black hair and bright green eyes.

"Oh, um, no. It's-it's free." She said after a moment, nervously smoothing an imaginary wrinkle in her school skirt. It came up to mid-thigh, the tailor having not accounted for her mile-long legs or rounded hips.

The boy gave a brilliant smile and tried not to drool as he entered the compartment. He took the seat across from her and took a moment to soak in her beauty before speaking, "I'm Harry. Harry James Potter."

Harry didn't know why he introduced himself with his full name, but shrugged it off when she beamed at him. Her smile was so lovely, making her blue eyes sparkle and lighting up the small compartment they were in. Harry was in love.

"Mary Sue-Anne Riddle, but everyone calls me Sapphire because of my eyes." She said, wincing at her own voice. Though it was sweet and musical, she thought it resembled broken glass dragged across gravel. She tried not to speak often because of it.

"Sapphire." Harry breathed out, tasting the name on his tongue. "That's a beautiful name." He chose to ignore that she had the same last name was his enemy. How could this beautiful, pale, black haired women be related to that handsome, pale, dark haired man? There was absolutely no family resemblance whatsoever!

The train lurched suddenly, pulling away from the station. Harry waved to plump ginger women and a skinny ginger man, both returning the wave with the same vigor. Sapphire felt a twinge of envy deep within her supple chest, longing for a family that actually wanted her and not saw her as a means of government income. But, despite how they treated her, she could not have wished for a better family.

"So, are you new here? I definitely would have remembered seeing someone like you around." Harry said, turning to face her and smiling his most charming smile.

Sapphire flushed, not used to having someone flirt with her. After all, she was just a pale, skinny, D-cupped girl with a firm butt, cupid bow lips, and killer cheek bones that she had inherited from her father. There was no way a boy would be interested in her, especially not a boy as handsome as Harry.

"Oh, um, yes. I'm transferring form Beauxbatons. My foster parents got into a…accident." She said, choking slightly on the last bit and looking out the window with tears in her eyes.

Harry felt a twinge of sympathy and gently placed his hand over hers. It was small and delicate, just like the rest of her. He couldn't help but think that they would fit perfectly together. "I'm sorry to hear that. My parents are no longer with me either. May…may I ask what happened?"

Sapphire stared down at their hands, tears beginning to leak from her eyes and miraculously not smearing her make-up. She always hated crying, thinking it made her look ugly, when in actuality, it made her face flush beautifully and her eyes practically sparkle.

She inhaled a shaky breath before speaking, "They were in Paris, enjoying a late breakfast at their hotel. I had stayed home, not really enjoying being in public. And the waitress, she had tripped…the squirrel was sitting on the…oh there was so much bacon!"

She began to sob, placing her face within her dainty hands. Harry moved to the other side, sitting on the bench beside her and wrapping his arms around her. She clung to his school robes, sobbing quietly into his shoulder and sniffling occasionally. She never got boogers or anything gross like that -girls simply did not have sinuses to produce it- so there was no fear of snot getting on his robes.

Harry gently rubbed her back, cooing softly at her. "It's okay. I'm sure plenty of peoples parents die like, uh, that." He whispered, trying to make sense of the story. She hadn't really given him much to work with, but she was so distraught, he was going to pretend like he completely understood and hoped that she didn't bring it up at a later and more crucial point in time.

She pulled away to wipe her tears, taking Harry's words to heart. Yes, she was sure a lot of peoples parents die from being crushed under three tons of deliciously cooked pig. He was so sweet, comforting her like this.

She had never had anybody offer her comfort of any kind, nor had they been nice to her. She could remember one incident at Beauxbatons when all the girls had gathered around her and poured three cartons of sour milk on her head and said that she was a whore. She didn't understand how a virgin who had never once been asked out could be a whore, but she had accepted the punishment with dignity, feeling that she had deserved it in some way or another.

Inhaling Harry's musky scent, she felt herself relax. Harry was so kind and sweet, he deserved someone just as sweet and nice. He would never fall for someone as broken and pitiful as her.


End file.
